Why Im Not Friends With Stay-At-Home Moms

Why Im Not Friends With Stay-At-Home Moms As a mom who both works and works from home, I often find myself in a funny, in-between world of working moms and stay-at-home moms.Im most certainly a working mom (well, arent we all really?), and I likely work too much (hello, otherbei business owners) but thats not what were talking about today. I want to know why its so hard for me, as a working mom, to maintain my friendships with my stay-at-home mom friends.The Working Mom RoutineMy sons day care workers (and anyone else who might interface with me during the day) naturally assume I dont work, since Im often home during the day and Im able to take my son to the occasional daytime appointment. Yet, stay-at-home moms know I work, because my son isnt home (hes at daycare) and I dont have time for mid-day park meet ups, kids activity classes, or play dates.Yet, even though Im working from home I find myself in the same daily grind many women who work outside the home do wake up, ideally ea rly so I can squeeze a mini yoga session in before my son gets up get everyone out the door in one piece tackle all the work fires maybe eat lunch run errands and tackle more work fires pick my son up from daycare do dinner, bath, bedtime and then its either more emails, client visits, or attending a work event, or hopefully I get to spend a couple hours with my husband, then bed and repeat.The Stay-at-Home Mom RoutineStay-at-home moms have their own intensive schedule, as well, because theyre keeping the day of the household moving forward, yet with the accomplishment of having little ones in tow. Between meals and nap times, there isnt a lot of flexibility throughout the day. The thing is, even if I had some time in my schedule to meet a stay-at-home mom friend for coffee or lunch they likely dont have the same time free. Heck, even trying to have a phone call to catch up can be tough. Ive been playing phone tag with one friend who stays at home with her toddler twins for over a month.The Bottom LineThe real reason why my friendships have strayed with my stay-at-home mom friends and, to be honest, with many of my friends in general is because having children keeps us so busy, and frankly it keeps us pretty tired as well. With early wakeups seven days a week, theres no way I want to stay out late socializing. This mama needs to sleep. And even though I dont consciously think I prioritize sleep over catching up with friends after my son is in bed, Im pretty sure I do. In the end, it seems that life circumstances are just pulling me and the stay-at-home set in separate directions and its nobodys fault.Resources for MomsAre you a working mom? We have resources for you. Check out Working Mom Guilt Is Real 16 Moms Weigh In On How They Deal and 10 Working Mom Secrets to Keeping the Chaos at westindischer lorbeer for advice from women in the same boat.Stay-at-home mom? Read If Stay-at-Home Mom Was a Profession, This is How Much it Would Pay. And if youre lookin g for a flexible, part-time gig, 10 Part-Time Work Options That Moms Will Actually Love has you answer.--Jennifer Mayer supports parents through pregnancy, birth, new parenthood and the transition back to work. Shes the founder of Baby Caravan, a birth postpartum doula agency and Baby Caravan at Work, a corporate consulting practice based in New York City. Jennifer lives in Brooklyn with her husband and son.